I wrote earlier in a post about the fact that I have been dying! God took away what could have possibly been the best summer of my life and I have done nothing but be a complete bum since. I hate bumming for more than a week. Weird I know but truth. As much as I love to play the guitar, get a full 9 or more hours of sleep and sit on the internet, I need structure! My true weakness, besides coffee, is that I need to be needed. It has been killing me that I am legitimately needed in Orlando by a wonderful Church and for some reason God would not let me help them.
Now, I don't want to say that "it all worked out for the good" because that is a crap phrases that Christians have coined to
1) make us feel better about our lives
2) help us not to deal with things
3) and keep God at a distance from us.
God is a big enough to allow things to not completely revolve around us and he sometimes does things just to do things. He is God, whatever he does is good and justified. This is one of the toughest things that we can possibly try to swallow about God. He is in complete control. Sometimes he proves he is in control through blessings and sometimes its through trial.
Is he always in control? Yes! Does he always know what the outcome is? Maybe, he knows the overall, and he is outside of time, yet we also have freewill(gigantic gray area there). God hates being put in a box and by telling each other as Christians that "it will all work out for the Good!" is putting God in a box. What if God does not make something work out for good? He took away a wonderful summer from me! or maybe he prevented me from getting raped. I have no idea!
Which is exactly the point that God wants me to be at right now. He is so good at challenging me. I never cease to be amazed at the wonderful fact that he is in control and I am not. As hard as I try, as much as I fight, as big a temper tantrum as I throw, he is my father, daddy, husband and the creator of my life. Which means, he can do whatever the hell he wants. Which a lot of times he will create hell just to prove he is God above all gods. Just as in the story of Elijah on mount Caramel, God will tear our gods down and mock them before our faces, whatever we have stupidly put before him he will take and burn to prove he is GOD!
Yes, not going to Orlando was for a purpose, I will say that everything has a purpose. But that does not mean that I am in control of that purpose, that does not mean anything God does makes sense. That means I am serving an amazing God that I cannot understand. As much as we all want a purpose driven life, the purpose is God! To say that everything works out for the good is a lie, divorces happen, people kill people and we live in a fallen world. Everything works out for God's good. He wants us humble before his thrown and completely dedicated to serving Him. We are in a spiritual battle we need to stand up and fight, not hope for the best to happen to us.
The job of being a DJ at Eskimo Joe's is seriously an amazing job, but I will be working at a club. This is going to be hard. Thankfully though I will grow, I will learn and become a step closer to the person God wants me to be!
God is so Good and so JUST! I am standing in awe of the ONE! I am taken care of by a huge God, who is big enough to handle my problems, and is in complete control of my life. that means something completely different to me now.
Consider the work of God; for who can make straight what He has made crooked? In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: surely God has appointed the one as well as the other, so that Man can find nothing that will come after him. -Ecclesiastes 7:13,14
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