Being a girl is not a curse and not a blessing. I have so many opinions and traditionally this is not okay, we are to be seen and not heard. I always want to be heard yet I rarely stand to state my opinions. When I am around friends and around people who I really love, I am completely willing to state what I think (I had a friend tell me one time that I would stand for up for myself only when I truly felt pushed). I never want to embarrass myself by over stepping my boundaries with my opinions. I love so many women that I consider to be strong powerful women who are seen and heard. I want to be one of those women, I want to be a women who knows what she wants and will give everything for it. What do you do when no matter how hard you try you can't be heard? This is where I am right now, I feel like I am crying out, I have been pushed to my limit and beyond and it just keeps coming. I have no idea what God is doing right now with me! None the less, with poise and grace, I am facing this summer with all I have and am going to try to enjoy every bit of it. I will not settle to be seen and not heard, yet I am not going to pitch a fit when things happen outside of my control. I want to be like Elisabeth Bennett, poised, confident, in control, and standing up for what she believes to be truth!
I guess why I am writing this is because I have been depressed about not being able to go to Florida (on account of economic issues), not being able to find a job, having friends go off and do wonderful things and genuinely just comparing myself to others when I shouldn't. I am tired of feeling like an outsider to myself. This is not me! I loved the quote at the end of He's just not that into you, "sometimes our happy ending is just picking up the pieces and moving on with our lives." Thats where I am right now, just moving on and picking up the pieces of a summer that was not to be.
